Joke of the day

I don't often post jokes but this one tickled my funny bone. Thanks Alicia for sending me this one.

I have a Labrador retriever and was buying a large bag of Purina (dog
biscuits) at Coles, waiting in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I
had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it one more time.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall, black guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned to end up in the hospital.

I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.